|We are a small alliance. But
we are vicious. Look upon our mighty visages and tremble.
(And while you're at it, say hello to our newest member. One would be Private Sparrow, who can digest earthworms at an incredible rate. He replaced Frank Sinatra, who has finally died. All those newspaper shenanigans were lies, lies lies! He was really with us all along.)
(Phew, next thing you know, we've collected Lieutenant Trotsky to fight alongside the Atlantic Allied Forces. The troops are getting restless with all these additions... Ideal conditions for a coup. We'll keep you posted.)
|Lt. Colonel Pavement
"It's a beard laddie! It's not a skirt. The shoes? None of your damn business!"
The leader of the alliance. Known to be a drinker with large sideburns. Does not wear a dress. Crazy with power, he has been known to sell tanks to the enemy to toughen his men. Likes to whip people with his riding crop. A bit of a suspicious character all round.
(2nd In Command)
Do not invite this person to a dinner party. He will slaughter your guests, take over your living room and launch stealth fighter attacks on your toilet. Known to explode. We suspect the bomb.
|Lieutenant Snake Eyes
"I am one with the night. I have a sword. I am also ninja. Hear me roar."
If you can see him, you are dead. if you can hear him, you are dead. If he is within arm's reach, you are dead. Known to hang out at the morgue. Also a dodgy character. He sleeps in a barrel and wears black because it helps in hide in the shadows. It has nothing to do with the fact that he thinks it makes him look mysterious. When you are a ninja, you just plain are mysterious. And that's all there is to it. Does not like to talk about GI Joe.
"Strangers in the night. Easy pickings."
He's ritired. He's gone. Quick, Eradicatorr, replace this photo so we can stop the pain of seeing his beautiful face every day!
"Come closer. I am only little."
A schizoid mental case, Plush is two people: Mr. Pookie, and the Lush Face-Eater. In conversations, repeatedly say, "We want to talk to Mr. Pookie now." This is your only hope of not being hit by the giant hammer. And for a little guy, he's very fast on his feet. A tape recording of Plush exists in our spooky warehouse. It goes like this, "heeheeheehee taptaptap heeheehee taptaptap heeheehee i can see you maggot maggot maggot WALLOP WALLOP WALLOP. [pause] Oh nooooo Mother! What have you done!!!!!!!"
"Stop staring at the balloon, buddy."
In his rubber elephant body suit, Mammoth is the most rubbery addition to the Atlantic Alliance. He can kill with his tusks, he can kill with his dangerously sharp spear. And he can kill with the common weapons of the jungle; the Captain, the Scud and the Metal Knight. For many years now the other creatures have learned to fear his squeaky footsteps.